And now stand for the national anthem...

This week parliament has been in recess (thats on half term to you and me) and while you might think that would quieten the expenses scandal - it didn't. We were treated to more of David Cameron's huffing and puffing, the ceremonial execution of media dubbed "double dipper" Julie Kirkbride, and a complete lack of progress from our brittle government... but this is of no real interest to me this week...

The spot light turns instead to the wolds most pathetic dictator and part-time puppet villain (Team America for ever stains his credibility) - Yes you guessed it: he is the the one and only KIM JUNG IL (nobody he'd rather be). I would like to note that i am trying incredibly hard not to phonetically spell everything in this article with the stereotype "herro" Asian accent, but if you would like to read it as such i will not condemn.

its seems Kim has come one step closer to  god's power this week with his relentless nuclear testing! not to mention a few missile launches just for good measure. naturally the UN is getting a bit shirty about this as Kim Jung Il is just about the last person on earth to be trusted with WMDs - and not to mention the announcement from North Korea that they no longer honor the cease fire between themselves and long term enemies South Korea. There was probably a collective hard swallow from the South as they remembered those fully operational artillery units pointed right at the capital... 

BUT

As bad as Kim Jung Il is its Britain's Got Talent that really stepped intolerable cruelty up a gear this week wasn't it. Yes the show concluded this week with more child abuse than Harrogate Council could ignore in a life time. The memorable moment being 10 year old Holly Steels epic fail live on stage - suffice to say she didn't win... but it did rase the question of wether or not mummy made her do it?

"Will you sing darling, will you sing for simon?"

"No, mummy, no!" 

"Do it you little turd! or you'll be seeing mummies talent THIS FUCKING CLOSE!"

(Some sort of smacking gesture would likely take place at this point)

"OK, mummy... do you still love me?"

"no"

Even sister show North Korea's Got Talent probably isn't that brutal... but then again Kim Jung Il was likely to have been the only contestant... i hear he can armpit-fart the entire national anthem...